The following films were all seen at the cinema during 2000.
Muppets From Space Cert.PG (5/10)
This is the ideal film to watch when you are suffering from a new years hang over. Light hearted, and easy on the brain. Gonzo becomes convinced that he is from outer space, his breakfast cereal told him so! So he tries to make contact with his supposed relations, who are on their way. Unfortunately this brings him into conflict with, and later captured by, a government agency, and taken off to a secret governmentsite, cleverly disguised as a cement factory. Naturally Kermit, miss piggy et al have to go in and rescue him. And then the aliens arrive. It's amazing just how many well known names will allow themselves to be upstaged by a puppet - amongst them Andie MacDowell, Ray Liotta and David Arquette.
The Bone Collector cert.15 (8/10)
From a book by Jeffrey Deaver, and starring Denzil Washinton and Angelina Jolie. Washington is a police forensics expert, now paralysed from the neck down and confined to bed. Jolie is a young police constable who comes across a very grizzly murder scene, and in doing exactly the correct thing to protect the scene, and get photographic evidence quickly before it is washed away, comes to the attention of Washington, who is reluctantly brought into the case because of its grizzly nature, and the strange forensics that are turning up. Not as good as the book, and with a complete section of the book missing, nevertheless this is an absorbing and gripping film from start to end. Strongly recommended.
Double Jeopardy cert.15 (8/10)
Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd star in this remake of a 50's film. Judd is Elizabeth Parish, convicted of murdering her husband, Nick, who finds out her husband is very much alive and well and living it up with their son, and her best friend. Jones is the parole officer with whom she ends up when released from prison on parole after serving six years. At first she lives quietly, but all the time she is attempting to track down her son, and soon makes a break for it, breaking her parole conditions. Jones, who's character is very reminiscent of the US Marshal he plays in The Fugitive and US Marshalls gives chase. He eventually follows her to New Orleans where her husband is now living, and where the remainder of the film plays out. Jones is now starting to become convinced that Parish was telling the truth all along, and although he's not actually a law officer, does a little bit of investigating himself, and gradually learns the truth. The title Double Jeopardy comes from the fact that someone cannot be tried for the same crime twice, and so, as she learns in prison, since she has already been convicted of mudering her husband once, she could, in theory, kill him in the middle of the street, in front of hundreds of witnesses, and could not be touched for it. A slick, well made film, with a few plot holes, but not enough to worry about. Recommended.
Rancid Alluminium cert.18 (5/10)
Strange, confusing, gobbledegook in places, just where does the title come from? This film had a few good parts, and a few amusing parts, but they were few and far between. Rhys Ifans Notting Hill was the central character, who winds up getting shot, shagged, confused, swindled and double crossed - not necessarily in that order. With Joseph Fiennes as his best friend, Dani Behr his secretary, Sadie Frost as his long suffering girlfriend and Tara Fitzgerald as the daughter of a Russian mafia godfather with whom he gets rather more involved than he should. Fiennes tricks Ifans into accepting Russian Mafia help in baling his company out, but then things start to go badly wrong as both the Russians and Fiennes are planning a double cross. The Russins go further than Fiennes expect however, and soon there is trouble looming that he did not expect. Buried in there is the germ of a good idea, but it was confusing in too many places, the film not really getting going for half an hour, and the background music was too loud for the dialogue. In places I thought even the camerawork was poor, particularly during the first five minutes, but it steadied up and generally wasn't too distracting except occasionally. Although there were no serious plot holes, the plot itself was a little too weak to hold a film of this length.
American Beauty cert.18 (7/10)
Lester Burnham, or at least, his own ghost we have to assume, narrates the story of his last few days of life, including how and why he died. This is actually a very strange, and at the same time very clever story. Lester, Kevein Spacey, has a nagging wife (Annette Benning), and an unruly and sarcastic daughter (Thora Birch) who are slowly driving him mad. A load of things happen very quickly. He quits his job, falls in lust with one of his daughters school friends, finds out his neighbours son is selling drugs, and discovers his wife is having an affair. This is a film about the destruction of family life, and how it can become life changing. Strangely it's also quite an uplifting film, because although we know right from the start that Lester is going to die, this film is as much about how he turns his life around, and actually becomes a better person before that happens. Recommended.
The Talented Mr Ripley cert.15 (8/10)
Starring Matt Damon in the title role of Mr Ripley, this is a very dark and moody film set in Italy in the 1950's. Tom Ripley is asked by the owner of a large shipping company to travel to Italy and try to persuade his son Dickie, played by Jude Law, to return to America. Tom befriends Dickie and his girlfriend, and to a certain extent this friendship is returned, though only at a very shallow level. Tom's only real talent though is forgery and impersonation, and after he and Dickie get into a fight, he kills Dickie and trys to take his place. Dickie's girlfriend Marge, Gwyneth Paltrow, is the only one who suspects anything, and Tom, to try and escape, ends up killing again and again. None of the characters are likeable, Tom is lying and deceitful, becoming a multiple murderer and Dickie is selfish and thoughtless. A strange, intense film, that also makes you think about life, and how people affect the lives of everybody around them.
The House on Haunted Hill cert.18 (6/10)
The house of the title is an old psychiatric institution that was closed down many years earlier after an uprising and fire by the inpatients. Now it has been turned into the home of the marginally mad Steven Price, Geoffrey Rush, a wealthy and eccentric theme park owner, and his estranged wife Evelyn, Famke Janssen. A birthday party, with five strangers who are each offered one million dollars to spend the night there, starts to go disasterously wrong when the security system, and the elaborate pranks set up by Price, start to do wierd things. This is a horror film with more than a little gore and blood and guts, and as such it is better than some. A little predictable in places, it's also unpredictable enough in others to gave a lot of heart stopping moments. Rush and Janssen both played well, Rush wonderfully overplaying his part, Janssen underplaying hers to perfection. Middle of the road horror film, but the best for some time now.
Three Kings cert.15 (6/10)
At the end of the gulf war, three US soldiers discover a treasure map hidden by an Iraqi soldier. Not unlike Kelly in Kelly's Heroes they decide to go and retrieve the gold for themselves, but unlike the earlier film which is played almost entirely for laughs, this film becomes very graphic and violent. George Cloony, Mark Wahlberg (Boogie Nights) and Ice Cube set out to liberate some of Saddam's stolen gold for themselves. Quite predictable things don't turn out as expected, but what is surprising is that this film quite deliberately sets out to show that american soldiers are not the god fearing, honest, upright citizens that the US government would have us believe, and nor are Iraqi soldiers, and the people of the Middle east, as evil as that same government would have us believe. Still and all this was a somewhat disappointing film, with a few good moments, and a bit of humour, to lighten it up.
Chicken Run cert.U (8½/10)
Chicken Run has to be one of the best, and funniest, films in a very long time. The fact that it's all animation and plasticene chickens doesn't detract from that in the slightest. With a huge cast of the best of British led by Julia Sawalha with Miranda Richardson, Jane Horrocks and Imelda Staunton plus Australian Mel Gibson as the American Rocky the Rooster, this film easily beats all the recent animated offerings from the likes of Walt Disney. There are many humerous tributes to many of the best prison escape films such as The Great Escape and Stalag 17 as well as other movies, and manages to poke fun at the americans without being nasty. This makes it work both for adults who will recognise many of these films, as well as for children who will simply see the great humour. Witty, heartwarming, and downright excellent good fun. Very strongly recommended.
X-Men cert.12 (7/10)
Based on the comic book stories of the sixties, this film has been brought right up to date. Although I suspect that fans of the comic books may not like this quite as much, it may also be true that knowing a little about them before hand might help. That said, I knew little about the characters beforehand, and have never read ony of the comics, but I still found it very enjoyable and entertaining. A few humans are starting to mutate, many of them gaining powers that make non-mutated humans afraid of them. Indeed, there is an obvious reference to US Senator McCarthy of the 50's and his speech about reds under every bed. Mutants are gradually splitting into two camps, those led by Professor X, Patrick Stewart, who whilst believing in the right of mutants to be free and unpersecuted, also believes in the rights of non-mutants as well; and those led by Magneto, Ian McKellen, who understands that a war between mutants and non mutants is brewing, and wants to make sure that numerically inferior mutants are not disadvantaged in any way. Strangely it is possible to both sympathise and see the contradictions of both sides of the argument. For once the bad guy actually has, at least partially, good motives. With Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, very much an anti-hero of the sort that Mel Gibson plays in many of his movies, Famke Janssen, Halle Berry, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Anna Paquin as the young, confused, and very frightened Rogue who is unable to touch any other human being without causing them pain. Well worth going to see, even if the dialogue is a bit cheesy in places.
Gone In 60 Seconds cert.15 (7½/10)
Not a bad film at all, and the casting was, for the most part, superb though I wasn't too sure about Vinnie Jones - his brief monologue at the end didn't work for me. A fairly simple and straightforward plot, to get his brother out of trouble Nicholas Cage has to steal 50 cars in 48 hours. Worse, there is a cop Detective Roland Castlebeck (Delroy Lindo) on his tail who knows, roughly, what's going on. Naturally things start to go wrong when the last car is stolen, (all are stolen in one night) and, in another tradition of american police films, there is a car chase through the city. Equally predictably, the last car gets to the dock 1 minute late, and consequences start to happen. Okay, but not a classic. Christopher Eccleston was brilliant as the slightly insane Englishman trying to take on both the american cops and the criminals, and failing miserably. Also with Angelina Jolie as Cage's ex girlfriend.
Snatch cert.18 (6½/10)
Not as good as Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels, nevertheless this film still had some good moments, and some funny moments. I'm not sure what accent Brad Pitt was supposed to have, but whatever it was, it wasn't very consistent, nor particularly Irish. Only the americans could possibly think this was an Irish accent. The story line was almost as convoluted as Lock, Stock ..., bare knuckle and unlicensed boxing, illegal gambling, pig farming and diamond thefts stretching from Amsterdam to New York. With Dennis Farina and Mike Reid. More people got killed this time, including Vinnie Jones character, and like last time, the eventual survivors were not really nice people. Okay, and extremely funny in places, but not brilliant.
Scary Movie Cert.18 (4/10)
Well there were some amusing moments in this film, but they were momentary, and infrequent. Aside from the patently even blatantly obvious references to films such as Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, there were also less obvious references, The Matrix, a budweiser advert (though which came first, this film or the advert, I don't know), The Blair Witch Project and even The Usual Suspects and Sixth Sense, as well as even more fleeting references to other films. The only vaguely amusing part was right at the start where Carmen Electra reprised Drew Barrymores role in the original Scream, but apart from that and a couple of throwaway lines from Shannon Elizabeth, this film was not worth watching. This was a spoof, and didn't even try to take itself seriously, but even as a spoof it failed. Spoofs are supposed to be funny, this wasn't. In fact I would even go as far as saying that for the most part this film was actually very boring.
Shaft Cert.18 (6½/10)
Given the hype, this was an amazingly disappointing film, and felt longer than it probably was. It wasn't really bad, just didn't live up to expectations, and was even quite slow sometimes. I found the background music much too loud in places, and occasionally had to strain to hear the dialogue which comes down to poor post production, easily the worst bit of the film. The plot had some similarities to the Schwarzenegger film Eraser with a witness, somewhat reluctant to testify, to a crime being hunted down before she can give evidence. Samual L Jackson plays John Shaft, an extremely cynical, and somewhat embittered, New York detective trying to put behind bars the son Walter Wade Jr (Christian Bale) of a very rich and well connected local businessman, Walter Wade Sr (Philip Bosco) who commits a violent racist murder. The ending, whilst disappointing in a way, did at least ensure that the film didn't drag on even longer. And yes, they had the traditional, predictable, car chase and bent cops. With Busta Rhymes And Vanessa Williams.
Going Off Big Time Cert.18 (7/10)
A gangster movie with a bit of a difference. Set in Liverpool, this film tells the story of a young man who gets sent to prison for something he didn't do, but once there survives by becoming a ruthless bastard. When he gets out he decides he wants a slice of the criminal action, but unfortunately he's managed to team up with some not so smart people, and he begins to realise that he's in over his head. A Strange film, with a very dark edge, and even some occasional humour, watch out for the ice-cream van!
The Cell cert.18 (8/10)
Jennifer Lopez was the only real name in this film, and she was the one who had to carry it, to make it, and I felt that she didn't, not quite. Her character was a fairly quiet and unassuming child psychologist, Catherine Dean, who uses a very strange technique to get try and get through to her patient, a young boy in a coma. When a kidnapper and murderer, Carl Stargher played by Vincent D'Onofrio, goes into a strange coma as he is being arrested, she is asked to try out the technique by the FBI to try and find a missing girl before she dies. It is in her 'patient's' mind and imagination that much of the story takes place, and as such the special effects were strange and unnerving. I think they were a little over used in places, possibly even to the detriment of the film as a whole. Reminiscent, to a small degree, of The Lawnmower Man I felt that Catherine's unassuming character, although very likable, was just that little bit too quiet. A wonderful film for all that, and one I recommend.
The Nutty Professor 2 - The Klumps Cert.PG (7/10)
Better than the Eddie Murphy's previous Nutty Professor film, but actually not by much. Eddie Murphy plays at least six roles again, including Hermann Klump, his mother, grandmother, father, brother and his own alta-ego Buddy Love. Janet Jackson plays another professor at the university, Professor Denise Gains, with whom Herman is in love. Unfortunately Buddy Love, having been awoken in the previous film, is now making his presence felt at extremely inopportune moments, and Hermann decides it's time to get rid if Buddy once and for all. Unfortunately, as should be obvious given that this is a comedy, things do not go as planned, and Buddy ends up as a separate entity, with some of the aspects of a dog, but in the process taking Hermans intelligence with him. Funny in places, and a lot cleverer than the first film, the banter between five different versions of Eddie Murphy is both well done and believable. Larry Miller as the dean of the university is just so good, and his interaction with a hamster is hilarious.
Romeo Must Die Cert.15 (7/10)
Road Trip Cert.15 (6/10)
A definate spoof on all the college road movie, and indeed all road movie, films. When Josh (Breckin Meyer) ends up making a sex movie with Beth (the stunningly gorgeous Amy Smart), at Ithaca in New York, then sending it to his girlfriend Tiffany (Rachel Blanchard) of many years studying in Austin Texas, he has about forty eight hours to go chasing after it before she discovers what he's done. With three friends he heads south, and in the process they destroy a car; steal a school bus; crash a frat house at another university to which they don't belong, where one of them loses his virginity; end up at a sperm donor clinic before they reach Austin. With police trying to find a kidnapped student, who hasn't been kidnapped, flying snakes, bomb scares, philosophy exams, huge pairs of knickers, and a car accidentally getting trashed by an irate girlfriend in Boston, there is a lot going on, and it does take a bit of concentration occasionally. Difficult when there a loads of naked and semi naked females wandering around occasionally. Funny, but not special.
Billy Elliot Cert.12 (7½/10)
Set in the early eighties, at the time of the year long miners strike in County Durham, Billy Elliot, Jamie Bell, is an eleven year old boy who ends up sneaking into ballet classes because he likes it more than the boxing his father (Gary Lewis) thinks he's doing. His father and older brother, both striking miners, are horrified when they find out, accusing him of being a 'poofter'. His teacher Mrs Wilkinson, played by Julie Walters, agrees to teach him in secret, as she honestly believes that he has a future if he wants it. In the end, Bily's father agrees to let him go for an audition in London, and then almost ends up breaking the strike to try and get the money for the trip. The very last few minutes of the film, set many years later, show a grown up Billy about to go on stage in Swan Lake, with an extremely proud father, brother and childhood friend in the audience. It was a very slow film, with only the occasional bit to lighten it up, and for me too much time was spent in the doom and gloom of Billy's house with two men depressed and scrabbling around for money because they are on strike.
What Lies Beneath Cert 15. (8/10)
Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfieffer appear to be a very normal loving husband and wife Dr Norman and Claire Spencer, whos daughter has just gone off to college, with new neighbours, and free time on their hands. Norman's university research work means that he is away from home a lot, preparing a paper on genetics, so when Claire hears the neighbours wife crying, she starts to investigate, and thats when she starts to see, and hear, ghosts. At first she believes the neighbour, Warren Feur, has murdered his wife Mary, but when Mary turns up alive and well, Claire starts to try ouija boards. She sees reflections in water, doors keep opening, and a photograph keeps falling. She even gets anxious when she sees a photograph of the car in which she had an accident a year earlier, and from there on, things just start to spiral out of control, and I was pleasantly surprised when things didn't turn out quite as I expected. Supermodel Amber Valetta is the young girl Madison Elizabeth Frank that Claire Spencer sees in her visions, and it is what has happened to Madison that is the reason for the visions.I've never paricularly rated Harrison Ford, but this is the best film that he has done for a very long time and I can't think of many who could have done it better. Pfieffer always a wonderful actress, still looks stunning in her 40's, and as an actress just gets better and better. Very much the psychological thriller, with aspects of a ghost story as well. For the general type of film Sixth Sense may, just, have the edge, but it's close, and I still strongly reccomend this film.
Blair Witch 2 - Book Of Shadows cert. 18 (6/10)
Not as good as the original, though the premise was clever. Ish! Not even vaguely like the first film, this film opens by talking about the filming of the original movie, and how that was fiction dressed up to look like a documentary, and actually uses that as a crucial part of the story line. This film looks a lot less like a documentary, although in places it still uses that idea, but usually from a third party's point of view, eg. the local TV station. Something else this film does that the original also does, is to keep the principle actors names for their characters names. Although set in the same woods as the original, in this case much of the film is also set in an old factory complex that has been turned into a home by one of the characters. Fans of the first movie come out to see where it was filmed, and, in the traditions of horror films, start to get killed off in fairly wierd and obscure ways. What does make the film, is that what we, the audience, sees, is not what the characters see when they look at videos of what has happened. The ending was a bit abrupt, and unfortunately they left the ending open enough to do a Blair Witch 3. Message to the producers: Don't. Okay as an ordinary suspense/horror film, but not special enough to become a classic.
Little Nicky cert.15 (6½/10)
Adam Sandler is definately an adaptable actor, but I don't think this film showed him off at his best. Nicky is the youngest son of the devil, with two older brothers, Adrian and Cassius, ()Rhys Ifans and Tom Lister Jr), a speech impediment, and a slight deformity of his face. Dad, played by Harvey Keitel, decides not to retire, so his two eldest sons decide to do something about it, and head off up to earth to cause mayhem. This causes the devil himself to weaken, and Nicky is sent up to earth after his brothers to try and bring them back. Being sopmewhat naive, weak and weedy in comparison to them, life is a bit of a yoyo initially as he keeps getting killed and sent back to hell only to be sent back again. Meeting a talking dog (the animatronics here were brilliant), a girl, two disciples and eventually his mother, who turns out not to be the goat his brothers claimed but an angel, Reese Witherspoon, Nicky does finally save the day, set Earth back to rights, and his father back on the throne of hell. There were funny moments, and given the nature of the film, not too much profanity, but over all I was rather disappointed as I felt a lot more could have be made of the situations.
Bedazzled Cert.12 (6/10)
Should have been better, but to be honest could have been a lot worse as well. Brendan Fraser plays Elliot, a bit of a loser, but who is desperately in love with Alison from his office. The devil, in the really rather shapely form of Elizabeth Hurley, offers him seven wishes, in exchange for his soul, to try and help him get the girl. The script was shallow and never progressed, Elliot never learned from the mistakes of his previous wish, and because of that the whole film became dull and somewhat repetetive. Even the ending was somewhat lame. There were some quite funny moments in this film, and with not much thought this film could have been really funny, but Hurley, for all her undoubted good looks, is not a particularly skilled actress. Personally, I think someone like Michelle Pfieffer would have made a far superior devil.
Charlie's Angels cert.15 (7½/10)
Rather less sensible, and a lot more fun, than the original television series. Drew Barrymore, who also produced it, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu (Ally MacBeal) are this generations angels, and do an excellent job. The film has fast paced humour and equally fast paced action, doesn't take itself even vaguely seriously, and even pokes fun at itself. The angels are hired to find a kidnapped software genious and some stolen software, but events soon take a strange turn when all three are assassinated (failed, though the person who arranged it doesn't realise until too late), Bosley (Bill Murray) is himself kidnapped, and their office is blown up. Rather than the guns of the original series, these angels are all martial arts experts, though at least one has real difficulties cooking, and none of them has what could be described as a normal home life! It's a very shallow film, but then, it doesn't pretend to be otherwise, but it is fun, and even gently sexy. John Forsythe, the original Charlie even takes up his old role again. Recommended.
The 6th Day cert.15 (7/10)
Arnold Schwarzenegger stars alongside Robert Duvall in a strange film that combines an intelligent and thought provoking look at where science might take us, with some really rather cheesy action. Schwarzenegger is Adam Gibson, a Pilot who, after an accident, suddenly finds himself in the strange position of having a clone of himself running around, and with people chasing after him trying to kill him. At first he doesn't understand what is going on, and even tries to kill the other Gibson so that he can go home to his wife and family. He eventually traces back to where everything started, and soon meets the scientist, Dr Weir (Duvall) who created the clone. Taking place in the 'Near future' this film discusses what might happen even if cloning of human beings is made illegal, and how people with enough money might still try to arrange it for themselves or others.
© Dave Stratford 2000