All the following films were seen at the cinema during 1998.
Home Alone 3 cert.PG (7/10)
One of the useful things about having godsons, is that I can get to see films that I might not otherwise have seen. This is one. Very funny for a ten year old, but maybe not quite so for an adult. The youngster at home, this time with chicken-pox, is too cutesy, and ends up being sickening. Very similar story to the first one, so I don't need to tell you any more. The stunts were very similar, but with a couple of new ones as well.
Starship Troopers cert.15 (7/10)
Casper Van Dien, Dina Carvey, Denise Richards & Jake Busey star in a visually exciting sci-fi flick, but that's about all there is. Story line? What story line? Nothing has changed from the start of the film to the end, except that Dina Carvey's character has been killed off, you learn nothing, and within the story, such as it is, nothing has happened. Four school leavers, Johnny Rico (Dien), Carmen Ibanez (Richards), Dizzy Flores(Carvey), and Karl all join the military. Rico joins because the girl he loves, Carmen, is joining, and Dizzy joins because the man she loves, Rico, is joining. Unfortunately Carmen goes off to become a pilot, while Rico and Dizzy become grunts and, eventually, briefly get together. Then the giant spiders, Bugs, attack. After that it's just a lot of violence and death, including Dizzy's, but not a lot else. Reasonable sound track, and brilliant special effects. All the different bugs are impressively done, and the space scenes are quite pretty though under used. Only Carvey showed any signs of actually being able to act, Richards grinned inanely almost throughout, and Dien looked too good, and too wooden, to be true! Very funny in places, as much because it is just so silly as because it is genuinely funny. A small appearance by Michael Ironside as Lt. Radchek wasn't really enough to make this film any better.
The Jackal cert.18 (6½/10)
A very disappointing film, no where near as good as the original. Although bits of the original remain, the remainder shows all the hallmarks of a typical Hollywood destruction of a classic European film. Bits of it were good, though it wasn't especially exciting, nor as gripping as the original. In the original film, the target for the assassination was known right from the start, in this one, it wasn't revealed until almost at the end. Why? What was the point? Richard Gere's character was a completely unnecessary addition, and his psuedo irish accent wouldn't fool anybody, except perhaps americans! As a simple action movie it wasn't bad, but as a remake of the classic The Day Of The Jackal it was a disaster.
Picture Perfect cert.12 (6/10)
Jennifer Aniston is Rachel, from Friends, she doesn't do anything else, and this lightweight romantic comedy proved it. Kevin Bacon as a colleague she fancies like mad, but who turns out to be somewhat less than perfect played a much better part, and the photographer she meets at a friends wedding, who she pretends is her fiance just to get a promotion and pay raise, was good if a little stilted. Amusing in a light hearted, forgettable way.
The Devil's Advocate cert.18 (7½/10)
Surprisingly, given that Al Pacino played his part almost to perfection, this was an extremely unsatisfactory film. There was little in the way of surprises, except very occasionally, and for the most part it was an extremely predictable film. Keanu Reeves played a lawyer who had never lost a case, both when he was prosecuting, and when he was defending, and gets called to New York, along with wife Charlize Theron, to join a law firm. At first things are okay, but then Theron's character starts to notice strange happenings, but when she tries to tell hubby, predictably he doesn't listen. The exact relationship, and how, of Pacino and Reeves was a surprise, though in retrospect it shouldn't have been, and the ending had a nice little twist to it. I wonder if there will be a sequel, the producers certainly left that option open.
Boogie Nights cert.18 (5/10)
If this is the film that is supposed to revive Burt Reynolds career, then he's got problems. The story spans about 6 years, from 1977 to about 1983, in the life of a porn star, and the porn industry. It isn't erotic, it's only occasionally funny though it tries hard here, it's occasionally very violent, often boring, and overall thoroughly dislikable in a rather tame way. A nice seventies soundtrack, and some amusing con's from the time that hi-fi was just appearing on the scene, all made a film that was boring in parts, and vaguely amusing or sickeningly violent in others. Not a likable character amongst them, apart perhaps from the junkie partner of Reynolds who acts as a sort of mother for all the young porn stars. Reynolds himself, as the producer of these films, manages a creditable performance, but not one to write home about. The final scene is a scream, but apart from that it was hard to not want to walk out. Avoid.
To be honest, the best actor Oscar nomination for Burt Reynolds was not deserved.
Up'n'Under cert.12 (7/10)
This wasn't real rugby of course, it was rugby league, but that didn't make it any less fun to watch. Gary Olsen is Arthur, persuaded - conned is possibly a better word - by his old rival Reg played by Tony Slattery, that he can train any pub team to beat the local champions. Trouble is, the team he has to train has never even scored a try in it's history, let alone won anything! Samantha Janus is Hazel, ex wife of an Australian rugby player, and owner of the local gym, who helps him, and gets to play in the game herself. Quite a well known cast, with Brian Glover in his final part before his death last year as Arthurs father in law, Susan Tully as his sister-in-law, Gryff Rhys Jones as the local radio commentator and Neil Morrisey as one of the players Arthur has to train. Very funny, extremely watchable, and though actually filmed in and around Cardiff in south Wales, it's actually set in Yorkshire, and if you didn't know any difference, you'd really think it was yorkshire. A large St.John Ambulance presence. A Lightweight film, but one well worth watching.
Titanic cert.12 (6/10)
Far too long. There was very little about the ship itself, and in fact being set on the Titanic was purely a gimmick to ensure that seats were sold, otherwise any ship would have done. At over three hours, the first half was uninteresting, apart perhaps from Kate Winslett(Rose), taking her kit off so that Leonardo DiCaprio could draw her wearing just a diamond necklace. The second half was frankly unbelievable, with Winslett and DiCaprio getting caught more than once below decks with the water rising around them and a locked gate in front of them. I gave the film 6 out of ten for the special effects, which really were good, but apart from that this was just any old doomed romance type story. With Bernard Hill as the captain of the Titanic and Billy Zane as Rose's less than pleasant fiance. I didn't dislike it, I just found parts of it booring, and other parts unnecessary. Too lightweight a film given its length and where it was set.
With 14 oscar nominations, it's going to win some, but apart perhaps from some technical awards such as for the special effects, it doesn't deserve them. Winslett is up for best actress, though I do think it's stretching it a little, but fortunately DiCaprio isn't up for anything.
11 oscars, including best picture, and best director. Well, best picture it certainly wasn't, but then, neither were any of the other five contenders, with the possible exception of LA Confidential.
But no Brit awards! Not even for special effects, the only thing it should really have had any chance of winning.
Flubber cert.PG (5/10)
Some very mildly amusing moments, but overall extremely disappointing. Not a patch on the original, and even Robin Williams couldn't resurrect this turkey. Younger kids will enjoy it though, but I very strongly suspect that even they will prefer the original if they ever get a chance to see it. The high rating, 5 out of 10, is only because despite being awful, it was mildly entertaining. Wait until it's shown on the television, it's certainly not worth going to the cinema to see.
In & Out cert.12 (6/10)
Kevin Kline has done much better than this, and despite a few extremely hilarious scenes, in general I was a little disappointed. Joan Cusack's character, Kline's bride to be, was much more interesting to watch, and much more believable as someone who has just had her entire life destroyed in front of her face. The small appearance by real life supermodel Shalom Harlow, taking the piss out of supermodels, was also very funny, particularly when you see who she ends up dancing with right at the end. Not a lot to commend it I'm afraid, but it was fun.
Mortal Kombat 2 cert.18 (2/10)
Awful. Rubish. What idiot thought to make a film like this? It had no story, at least, not one that made any kind of sense, and the entire film is just about one bunch of people using martial arts on another. Avoid like the plague, but still not the worst film I have ever seen!
The Boxer cert.15 (5/10)
I don't like films about nothern Ireland, they invariably show one side or the other in some sort of favourable light. I also don't approve of boxing, but this film was reccomended to me. To an extent it was worth it. Daniel Day Lewis plays a boxer, the boxer of the title, who was caught and imprisoned 14 years earlier for terrorist offences. Now he's out, and all he wants to do is get back to his boxing, but everyone around him wants different. The IRA hard men hate him because he refused to acknowledge them whilst in prison, and even his old partner wants something a bit more. This is a classic example of the hatred that has come about in Northern Ireland, and clearly shows that the terrorist leaders really don't care about anyone or anything. Worth watching, just!
Mouse Hunt cert.pg (6/10)
Mildly amusing, but in the end fairly silly. Two brothers are left a large and decrepit house when their father dies. Unfortunately they find they have another companion in the house. A mouse, and it is the two brothers increasingly frantic attempts to evict the rodent, including trying to post the poor creature to Fidel Castro, whilst trying to renovate and sell the house - which turns out to be extremely valuable - that causes all the chaos, that forms the backbone to the humour. Nicely visual, and well acted, with a clever ending, but a few too many plot holes, and in the end not all that satisfactory. Younger viewers will however find it very funny!
Kiss The Girls cert.18 (8/10)
Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd star in a powerful and gripping drama about a serial kidnapper. The difference here being that the kidnapper does not want a ransom, he wants the girls. Freeman is a Police psychologist in the mould of Cracker from Washington DC who's neice goes missing. Judd plays a local doctor, and one of the victims, the only one to escape. Freeman goes south to try and help in the hunt for his neice, and ends up befriending Judd, and, eventually, helping to solve the mystery, though not without a couple of nice twists and disasters along the way. Well written, well filmed, and well acted by all. One definately to watch.
Fallen cert.18 (7/10)
Denzil Washington plays the lead, a highly decorated cop, in an intriguing, but eventually unsatisfactory demon hunt. Azazel is a demon, cast out of heaven, who must inhabit a living body, but can move from body to body just by touch. As a demon, it is particularly nasty, causing people to do some quite strange and horrific acts, mostly of revenge against Washington for having caught, and had put to death, its previous host. The occasional voice over was mildly irritating, but it was only at the end that I realised just how necessary it was. A nice ending, one which could, theoretically, lead to a sequel, but it would have to be without Washington, unless he plays his own grown up son.
As Good As It Gets cert.15 (7/10)
Jack Nicholson stars alongside Helen Hunt, Greg Kinnear and Cuba Gooding Jnr, as a seriously unpleast, but phenomenally successful romantic novellist. He is the quintessential nasty neighbour, and proves it by putting his gay neighbours dog down the garbage shute. Hunt is Carol the long suffering waitress at the restaurant he frequents. Simon, Kinnear, is a not quite so successful artist, with Gooding as his agent, and a slight problem with his finances. When Simon is beaten up and robbed, Melvin, Nicholson, is forced to step in and help much against his desires. When he then discovers Carol has given up work to look after her sick son, again Melvin helps, this time for the very selfish reason of getting Carol back to work, as none of the other waitresses will serve him. An amusing film, particularly when Melvin is persuaded to drive Simon to try and see his parents to get a loan, and cons Carol into coming along with him as a chaperone. Naturally nothing works out quite as expected, but there is a happy ending, of sorts. A lighthearted and entertaining film, but nothing to write home about.
Hmmm... A best actress oscar for Hunt, not really my choice, but not a bad one, and a best actor oscar for Nicholson. Again, perhaps not my choice, but again not a bad one.
Good Will Hunting cert.15 (6/10)
A feelgood film, that actually ended up leaving me cold. A number of good performances, particularly by Robin Williams who plays a psychiatrist and college lecturer, and Minnie Driver playing an English chemistry student, and Huntings girlfriend, who rather deserved the best supporting actress nomination she recieved for this role. Will hunting is a rather mixed up young man, who just happens to be a bit of a mathematical genious, so when he is arrested for beating someone up, a lecturer at the university gets him released provided he attends maths classes and sees a councillor, Williams, a couple of times a week. This film felt too long for the subject matter, and apart from a few very funny scenes, and a couple of quite moving ones, Williams seems to be very good at this kind of role, the whole thing just felt thrown together.
Best supporting actor oscar for Williams - deserved, I think, but I don't remember all the competition.
Gattaca cert.15 (8/10)
Uma Thurman, Ethan Hawke and Jude Law starred in this strange tale of a future where everything is know about you within moments of your birth just from looking at your DNA. A young InValid, (Hawke), so called because his birth and conception were completely natural, grows up in the shadow of the Gattaca complex, and yearns to go out into space. Despite a major heart defect and extremely poor sight, he eventually manages it by taking over someone elses life (Law). How he manages it, is amusing in itself, but when his boss gets murdured, and suddenly he is the one they are hunting for as the murder suspect, life get's extremely complicated. To then fall in love with Thurman, and to try and hide everything from her just compounds matters. The final neat twist is the fact that it is his younger brother, a Valid because his DNA was manipulated within days of conception to remove any undesirable side effects, who is one of the coppers hunting him. Well worth watching.
The Man In The Iron Mask Cert.12 (6/10)
If you've seen previous versions of this film, you will be dissapointed by this one, but for all that it was well made and slick. Leonardo DiCaprio plays both King Luis, and his twin brother Philippe, the man in the iron mask. With Jeremy Irons as Aramis, John Malkovitch as Athos, Gerard Depardeau as Porthos and Gabriel Byrne as d'Artagnan. When Athos' son is about to propose, King Luis spots the girl, Christine (Judith Godreche in her first major English speaking part), and desires to make her his latest conquest. He sends the young man to the wars where he gets killed, and takes her for his mistress. Athos, not unnaturally takes this a bit hard, and before long three of the original four musketeers are plotting to replace Luis with Phillipe. Of course, nothing quite goes to plan, and d'Artagnan, now King Luis' chief of security, mucks things up a bit. Anne Parriloud (sp) as Queen Anne, mother to both boys, played a dignified role. Either she is older than I thought, or there was some extremely clever makeup here. Amusing, and not very close to the original book, but reasonably entertaining for all that.
Sphere cert.12 (8/10)
An interesting film, starring Sharron Stone, Samual L Jackson, and Dustin Hoffman. A small team of scientists are brought in secrecy to an underwater discovery, a three hundred year old space ship 1000 feet under the pacific. This team have to go and investigate, and naturally things do not quite go to plan. In many ways, similar to Event Horizon except that the mind bending properties come from a huge sphere in the ships cargo hold, and are not specifically evil. Of the original seven people in the underwater base, only three survive, and then only because Hoffman and Stone finally work out that all three of them have been inside the sphere, even though they can't remember doing so. Not many special effects, but what there were were extremely well done, and more than believable. Reccomended viewing, despite it's fairly weak plotline and slightly disappointing ending.
Paradise Road cert.12 (8½/10)
Based on a true story of a group of women in a japanese prisoner of war camp in Sumatra. Lead by Glenn Close as the wife of a tea planter in Singapore, and Pauline Collins as a missionary there, the story follows the formation of a 'Vocal Orchestra' by the women within the camp. A very moving story, as much because it is based on a true story, as because of the privation and torture meted out by the japanese. Also Starring Jennifer Ehle, Julianna Margulies, Cate Blanchett and Frances McDormand as a german doctor, also a prisoner. Very strongly reccomended for powerful performances by all the players, including the japanese guards.
Jackie Brown Cert.18 (7/10)
A very long film, just over 2½ hours, that unfortunately wasn't as good as the hype that went before it. A Quentin Tarantino film, starring Pam Grier with Samual L Jackson, Robert DeNiro and Bridget Fonda. Grier is Jackie Brown, an air stewardess on a small Mexican airline, who is caught flying money back into Los Angeles for her friend, played by Jackson, an illegal gun dealer. Trapped into helping the feds, led with verve by Michael Keaton, she uses her bail bondsman, played by Robert Forster, to help her into conning both Jackson and the Feds. DeNiro and Fonda both play some of Jackson's side kicks, Fonda a bit of an airhead more into sex and drugs, whilst DeNiro is an ex bank robber just out of gaol, and hoping Jackson can get him set up for the future. Too long, it took a long time to get started, and more than once the same scene was repeated from different camera angles, and with a different point of view - in one case three different views. Not bad, but the language was a bit OTT, motherfucker showed up a bit too often, and was the only reason for the 18 certificate.
Keep The Aspidistra Flying cert.15 (8/10)
From a novel by George Orwell, this is s slightly strange, arthouse film, that I only went to see because I had already seen everything else that was showing. An amusing, light hearted, romp through 1930's London. Richard E Grant is Gordon Comstock, an aspiring poet and psuedo communist, and Helena Bonham Carter is Rosemary, his long suffering girl friend. At the start of the film, both work in an advertising company, Grant as the top copywriter, Carter as the top graphic designer. Grant feels he is wasting his talent by writing advertising copy, so hands in his notice and tries to make it as a full time poet. Unfortunately a lack of money means that he ends up taking a job in a booksellers, and, when he gets into a drunken fracas from celebrating after having a poem published, fired from that job and ends up in an even dingier booksellers in just about the worst part of London possible. Here he suddenly finds he's happy, and dirty, but isn't writing. When Rosemary announces she's pregnant from their single night together, Gordon suddenly has to start thinking about someone other than himself. The aspidistra of the title is supposed to represent the middle classes, to which technically both Rosemary and Gordon belong, but which he thinks he is trying to get out of. Worth watching for some very good performances by all the cast, particularly Julian Wadham as Ravelston, Comstock's friend and publisher and Lesley Vickerage as Hermione, Ravelstone's girl friend, and some extremely funny one liners, my favourite from Hermione complaining that once lost, an orgasm can never be recovered.
Hard Rain cert.15 (7½/10)
Fast furious action, all the while in a torrential downpour. Christian Slater is an armed guard in a armoured courier van, that gets caught up between massive flooding from a dam over flowing from the rain, an armed gang, led by Morgan Freeman, out to get the money he is supposed to be guarding, and the local sheriff, played by Randy Quaid, who decides that just maybe he wants the money. With Minnie Driver as a local Church restorer who gets caught in the middle when she bops Slater on the head, thinking he has come in to loot her church. A well made and slick romp, though there were a number of errors, mostly to do with rising water, and how it seemed to rise at different rates in different parts of the town! A number of amusing bits as well, and it was nice to see Freeman as a bad guy for once, albeit not a nasty one. Very watchable, but essentially light weight and a little dissapointing.
Great Expectations cert.15 (7/10)
This classic is not one that might seem at first sight to be easily adapted to the modern age, but this film proved otherwise. It wasn't a very close adaptation, and to some extents this was disappointing. On the other hand, it was well made, and while I found it occasionally somewhat less than interesting, it wasn't a bad film. Ethan Hawke played Finn, Pip in the original novel, with Gwyneth Paltrow as Estella. Anne Bancroft was the old lady, Estella's Aunt, and Robert DeNiro as the escaped convict. I'm afraid I don't remember too much about the book, it was probably well over 20 years ago that I read it, so I can't comment too much on the differences, but it certainly worked being set in late 20th century America rather than mid 19th century Britain. Finn (Hawke) didn't seem to age as much as perhaps he should, but Estella (Paltrow) did to a lesser extent, but it was Bancroft who was the real star.
The Winter Guest cert.15 (8½/10)
This was really four stories in one, about four different pairs of people and how they spend one particular very cold day. The leads were real life mother and daughter Phylida Law and Emma Thompson, playing mother Elspeth and daughter Frances in the film. The other couples were two old ladies who spend their days going to funerals; Frances' son, Alex, and a girl he meets; and two younger boys playing truant from school. Although in one respect very little happens throughout the film apart from a lot of dialogue, there is a lot of humour and more than a little eye watering agony. An extremely moving and well written and directed film that you can't help but enjoy.
Sliding Doors cert.12 (7/10)
A very simple story, easy on the eye and brain, and gently entertaining. Mildly amusing in places, but otherwise fairly forgettable. Well made, and despite frequent swapping between the two alternate realities, it was never confusing, though the different hairstyles for the two different 'copies' of Helen (Gwyneth Paltrow) probably helped. The ending was a bit of a disappointment I felt, but overall it was okay.
Scream 2 cert.18 (6½/10)
Not as good as the original, but watchable nonetheless. The original was definitely a comic horror, this one tried to be just horror, but ended up being poor comic and poor horror. It didn't work all that well, and by the end, it looked more contrived than anything else. Many of the original cast, Neve Campbell, David Arquette and Courteney Cox in particular, reappeared, but none of them had 'grown'. This was a sequel for the sake of it.
US Marshals cert.15 (7/10)
Nice simple action movie, a sequel to The Fugitive but with Wesley Snipes instead of Harrison Ford. Tommy Lee Jones reprises his role as the US Marshal chasing an escaped convict, Snipes. Not as good as the original, but very watchable despite the couple of holes in the plot and a couple of loose ends. Although the audience knows who the bad guy is from about half way through the film, there's no real pointers to him, yet Jones manages to work it out anyway. In that one respect the film is unsatisfying, but completely watchable. With John Cusack.
Deep Impact cert.12 (7/10)
Global destruction is on the way with the discovery of a large comet heading directly for Earth. Starting off with a junior tv reporter mistakenly thinking that the secretary to the treasury had resigned because of an affair with someone called 'Ellie', she quickly discovers that in fact it is E.L.E. or Extinction Level Event. Told mainly from the point of view of the journalist, but with a few side looks at the astronaughts attempting to detroy the comet, and the teenager who originally discovered it, this is not a bad film. Some of the special effects, particularly of the 1st comet hitting, and the tidal wave it causes, and the subsequent destruction of New York city were pretty spectacular. With Morgan Freeman as the president. Recommended.
Wild Things cert.18 (8/10)
A far better film than it had looked at first sight, the trailers were likely to drive people away rather than attract them in! This is quite a convoluted film, with a plot that twists and turns all the way. Indeed it isn't until the credits are actually rolling, that everything finally falls into place through the use of flashbacks. There were a couple of week spots, and a bit of rather lame dialogue, and Denise Richards whilst very attractive, has yet to learn how to act. Set in Florida, a young teacher, Matt Dillon, is accused of the rape of one of his students, Richards, and then later by another girl as well, played brilliantly by Neve Campbell. Unfortunately Richards mother, played by Theresa Russell, is one of the richest women in the state, and it soon turns out that this is a sting to get some money out of her. With Kevin Bacon as the investigating police officer, Robert Wagner as Russell's family lawyer, and Bill Murray in a cameo role as a decidedly shady lawyer, this film as actuall well worth going to see. Recommended.
Wag The Dog cert.12 (8/10)
The title of this film comes from the saying Why does a dog wag it's tail? Because the dog is more intelligent. If the tail was more intelligent, the tail would wag the dog.
Very funny, but not 'in your face', humour - good black comedy. The US president, who is never actually seen on the screen except as a shadow, or from the back, is accused of sexual harrassment just eleven days prior to the election, at which he is hoping to be elected for a second term. Robert DeNiro is the white house Mr.Fixit brought in to try and deflect the media's attention. With the help of a Hollywood producer, Dustin Hoffman, they manage to 'invent' a small war, and a mythical B3 bomber. When the CIA manages to throw a spanner in the works and end the war for them, instead they invent a serviceman left behind. How they go about the various inventions, and how they manage to squirm their way out of the various minor, and sometimes not so minor, disasters that happen along the way is so funny. Is this genuinely how the US treats its citizens?, having watched this film, I could well believe it. Strongly recommended.
Breakdown cert.15 (7½/10)
Kurt Russel, the late J.T.Walsh, and Kathleen Quinlan star in a case of abduction and extortion that goes a bit wrong when Russell decided not to play ball. Quinlan is given a lift by Walsh when the car she and Russell are in breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and then goes missing. Not unnaturally, Russell gets more than a bit worried by his wife going missing, and more by luck than judgement, finally manages to get on the right track, with a few minor disasters along the way of course. Very watchable, and sadly one of the last films made by J.T.Walsh who died late last year. Try and see it if only for that reason.
Blues Brothers 2000 cert.12 (5/10)
Another sequel, this time to the famous Blues Brothers, this was a complete disappointment. In fact it was worse than that, it was dire! There were some amusing set pieces, but for the most part it was actually quite boring. They also went completely over the top with the car chase scenes again. In the original they were funny, simply because you weren't expecting them, well not first time anyway. In this one they reduced it to just one crash, fortunately, but it went on and on and on. I stopped counting after the twentieth car, despite there having only been about twelve cars in the original chase scene moments earlier, but they just kept on coming, and it just got less and less funny. Most of the cast from the original story was there, playing the same part, but eighteen years on, Twiggy and Carrie Fisher were missing, and they brought in John Goodman to replace John Belushi, the John Candy police chief character was taken by Joe Morton assisted by Nia Peeples. Cab Calloway has also sadly died since the original was filmed. There was a long list of newcomers, and not so new comers, but they were just there to fill out the holes in the story. Definitely missable.
Dark City cert.15 (7½/10)
I knew absolutely nothing about this film when I went in to see it, having never seen a trailer for it, or even heard of it before. That's a shame, because this was a wonderful film, full of black humour and confusion. With Kiefer Sutherland and Ian Richardson, this turned out to be a science fiction film, of sorts. Everybodys heard of Shell Beach, but no one can quite remember how to get there, including the people who supposedly have been there or even grew up there. It's always night time, no one can quite remember seeing the sun, or even daylight. Someone is playing with memories, and it turns out to be Sutherland, under the orders of Richardson. Buildings, even whole city blocks just change, people change, and someone who was an apartment block manager one night is a news vendor the next, and doesn't know the difference. John Murdoch (Rufus Sewell) wakes up in the bath with absolutely no memories, but lots of blood around the place. He discovers he is married to Emma (Jennifer Connelly) but after that things start getting very confusing. With William Hurt as the police inspector trying to find him, and starting to believe him that something very strange is going on. Recommended
Martha, meet Frank, Daniel and Lawrence cert.15 (7/10)
A lightweight romantic comedy that wasn't all that funny, nor all that romantic, but was definitely amusing even so. Martha (Monica Potter) is an american who decides to change her life by coming to London, the first place she could get to for 99 dollars. She meets Daniel (Tom Hollander) on the plane, shallow, very rich, and very full of himself. The story is told in a strange order, so that when she then accidentally meets Frank (Rufus Sewell) Daniel's friend though she doesn't know it, the following day in London, and tells him she is looking for the man she fell in love with the previous day, Frank, and indeed the audience, naturally assumes it's Daniel, but it isn't until later that you realise that Lawrence (Joseph Fiennes) went to the airport to meet Daniel, but because the plane was early, missed him, and instead bumped into Martha, or rather, she crashed into him. Confused? This film is told from all angles, and in no particular order, apparently, but even so it never gets confusing when you're watching. With Ray Winstone in a very definitely unusual part for him.
The Replacement Killers Cert.18 (7½/10)
Large quantities of violence, small quantities of dialogue - not that it needed much though! Quite amusing in places, and very watchable, but highly unrealistic. With that number of bullets flying around, more people should have got more hurt than they actually did. Chow-Yun Fat is a Chinese hitman who decided that he doesn't like the target. Mira Sorvino is the passport forger he turns to when his erstwhile employer starts to get miffed that he didn't do his job. With a very simple story line, and no real surprises, John Woo, who also directed Face Off, has managed a surprisingly good film from so little.
Wishmaster cert.18 (5/10)
A Djinn, not the nice fluffy Walt Disney type Djinn's, but something infinitely nastier, is locked up inside a gem in the middle east hundreds of years ago. Released into modern day america, it begins to cause untold damage and mayhem. Its limitation is that it can only do anything if someone asks for it, in effect makes a wish, and it must perform the wish, even if that means the djinn has to 'go away', because that's what was asked of it. The story line is very simple, an ancient persian statue is brought into the USA by Raymond Beaumont, Robert Englund, and it breaks to reveal a Gem. Gemologist Shannon Amberson, Wendy Benson, releases djinn Andrew Divoff from the gem, it causes mayhem, she must get it back into the gem before letting it grant her three wishes, all of which would be exceedingly nasty, the last of which will allow it to let in all the other Djinn's waiting out there. Very predictable, some nice special effects, but overall pretty unexciting.
Ulee's Gold cert.12 (8½/10)
Peter Fonda is Ulee (Ulysses?) Jackson, a small time bee keeper and honey producer a couple of hours from Orlando in Florida. His son Jimmy, Tom Wood, is in prison for armed robbery, his daughter-in-law Helen, Christine Dunford, a junky in Orlando, and not seen in many years. Ulee himself looks after his two granddaughters Casey and Penny, Jessica Biel and Vanessa Zima, until his son rings him and asks for help to rescue his wife. It soon turns out that not all the money was recovered from the armed robbery, that his son knows where it is, and that his wife has accidentally let it slip to the two men who helped him, but who managed to escape gaol. They now want the money, and it is up to Ulee to get it for them, whilst at the same time trying to hold his slowly disintegrating family together, helped by a nurse, Connie, Patricia Richardson, living across the road. A very well made film with a lot of thought provoking scenes. Simple, crisp dialogue, and beautiful scenery. As an aside, you also get to learn a lot about beekeeping and honey making. Highly recommended.
The Wedding Singer cert.15 (7/10)
A romantic comedy that was, for once, actually quite genuinely funny, although a bit contrived in places. Robbie Hart, Adam Sandler, is the wedding singer. When he gets dumped at his own wedding, he turns to waitress Julia, Drew Barrymore, for comfort. Whilst helping her to plan her own wedding, he meets her fiance Glenn, and discovers that Julia is being almost quite openly two timed. His indignation on her behalf, for she doesn't know, and he can't tell her, soon has him falling for her, and the extra attention he pays her, soon has her quite unknowingly falling for him. The final scenes, on a plane to Las Vegas where Barrymore and Glenn have decided to get married, and which include a brilliant cameo appearance by Billy Idol, are probably the funniest in the film.
Six days, Seven Nights cert.12 (6/10)
Another romantic comedy, just not as funny, nor as romantic. There was supposed to be a bit of action adventure, but even this was a little lacking. Aircraft pilot Quinn, Harrison Ford, and his passenger, magazine editor Robin Monroe, Ann Heche, crash land on a tropical island forty miles or so from Tahiti. The problem is, it's off the flight path they were on and there's a few modern day pirates around. The dialogue between Heche and Harrison was okay, but much of the rest seemed forced. This was the best thing Harrison has done in a little while, a throw back to his Indiana Jones or Han Solo roles, but unfortunately even that doesn't work all that well. David Schwimmer, (Ross from Friends), plays Frank, Robin's fiance, but he plays it just like Ross which was disappointing.
Mad City cert.15 (8½/10)
John Travolta and Dustin Hoffman star in a very thought provoking film, Travolta is Sam Baily, a not very bright museum guard recently made redundant. Hoffman is Max Bracket, a local sleazy and cynical tv news reporter. At the museum to interview the owner Mrs Banks, Blythe Danner,about cuts in funding, Max is in the toilet when Sam shows up to talk to her. When she refuses to listen, he pulls a gun on her and quite by accident ends up with a party of school children, their teacher, Mrs Banks, and Max as hostages when he accidentally shoots the other museum guard, Cliff, Bill Nunn. The majority of the film revolves around Max's attempts to get a good story, whilst at the same time trying to ensure that things don't get out of hand either inside the museum or within the news network, headed by the manipulative and unpleasant Kevin Hollander, Alan Alda, who hates Max and will do anything to do him down. Cynical attempts to manipulate public opinion, first for, then against Sam simply show the news media in a very bad light. Mia Kirshner plays Laurie, Max's assistant who 'defects' to Hollander.
Apparently this film went down badly in america. Critics hated it because it showed parts of their own industry to be somewhat less than perfect, the audiences hated it because they had to think. Just remember, the news, whether television or print, don't show the whole story. Strongly recommended.
The Object Of My Affection cert.15 (6/10)
If this is Jennifer Aniston at her best, then she has problems. She is, at least, no longer playing her Friends character Rachel, as she did in Picture Perfect, but that doesn't excuse her performance here. Another romantic comedy, in which Aniston plays Nina, who falls in love with her gay lodger George, Paul Rudd. Life becomes more complicated when she becomes pregnant by her boyfriend Vince, but decides she would rather have George help her to raise the child. When Nigel Hawthorne as Rodney Fraser, and his lover Paul arrive on the scene, Nina starts to get a little jealous as George and Paul become lovers, proving that Nina really has no chance of a life with George. Hawthorne is a wonderful actor, and for me his presence, along with that of Alan Alda playing the husband of Nina's step sister, where the only decent points in the whole film.
Lolita cert.18 (7½/10)
Despite what many critics say, in all cases people who have neither read the book nor seen any of the various films, this is not a film about child molesting. It is a story about the self destruction of a man who falls in love with a fourteen year old girl. Jeremy Irons is Humbert Humbert, a middle aged teacher who goes to lodge with Charlotte Haze and her daughter Delores, Melanie Grifith and Dominique Swain. Humbert starts to fall in love with Delores, whom he privately nicknames Lolita, and marries Charlotte just to be near Lolita. It is only when Charlotte is accidentally killed that anything starts to happen. Lolita herself is no innocent, and it is she who initiates things between herself and her step father. Frank Langella plays Clare Quilty, a much older playwrite, who is the person Lolita is really in love with, and who eventually splits up Humbert and Lolita for his own sexual pleasure, later murdered by Humbert for revenge. Humbert is not so much evil, as weak, Lolita has a much stronger personality than her step father, and it is a combination of that and Humberts weakness that makes him fall to his own destruction. If a fourteen year old boy is allowed to fall in love with a fourteen year old girl, why can't a forty year old man? The point surely is that the fourteen year old boy would be unable to get into the girls knickers because he is too young, inexperienced and naive, whilst the forty year old man should have the strength of character and will to know that she is simply too young. Here, Humbert simply doesn't have that strength of will, and Lolita plays on it for her own ends. Recommended.
Godzilla cert.PG (7/10)
I enjoyed this film immensely, but that doesn't mean it's actually a very good film. There are far too many weak points in the story for comfort. Example, why, when the monster has been disturbed near French Polynesia, does it decide to cross Panama and Jamaica to invade New York? Surely if america was it's destination Los Angeles or San Francisco would have been more logical. When the monster is chasing the helicopters, why didn't they go up? It can't fly, even if it can jump quite impressively. When chasing the monster around Manhattan Island, surely the logical thing to do would have been to have a plane or helicopter above the level of the buildings so that the monster was in sight at all times. The presence of the US military in Jamaica, where they have absolutely no jurisdiction, was never adequately explained. Aside from these gaping plot holes, and many others, just sit back and be prepared to be thoroughly entertained, though not scared. The French explode a nuclear device, (another plot hole here, underground tests don't produce mushroom clouds!), in the Pacific. Godzilla eventually invades New York, being chased by the US military including scientist Dr. Niko Tatopoulos, Matthew Broderick, and the French secret service led by Philippe Roche, Jean Reno, trying to undo the French governments mistake. Niko's ex girlfriend Audrey, Maria Pitillo, is now a reporter and alongside cameraman Animal, chases Niko to try and get the story. The special effects were pretty stunning, and the various chase scenes through the streets of Manhattan were both extremely funny, and extremely well done.
Deconstructing Harry cert.15 (2/10)
Well, my 'worst film ever seen' has changed. It's no longer Boxing Helena, but this pile of crap. I hated it, and that's extremely unusual. Supposedly a comedy, but I think Woody Allen has lost his touch. Allen is Harry, an unpleasant and bigoted author without a shred of morals or conscience. He uses his ex wive's their families, and everybody around him in his novels, so thinly disguising them that anyone who knows them will recognise them instantly, and then reveals all their most intimate secrets. Unlike Jack Nicholson's vaguely similar character in As Good As It Gets Harry has absolutely no scruples and no redeeming features. Despite a huge and varied cast, Elisabeth Shue, Michael Keaton, Robin Williams, Demi Moore, and many others, this is a film to go out of your way to avoid.
Grease cert.12
There's not many people who haven't seen this film before so I needn't say much, but it was so long ago for me, that I had actually forgotten quite a lot of it, and some of it was highly amusing seen back like this. For those of you who like Babylon 5, Jeff Conaway, who plays Zack Allen, is Conecki, Travolta's best friend in the film. There was no reference in the credits to the revamping of the sound, but it was quite good, though as usual, only three songs actually stand out, Summer Loving, Greased Lightening, and You're The One That I Want.
Lost In Space cert.PG (6/10)
The special effects, some of which were quite stunning, and some of which were borrowed from Stargate, were the only thing to watch this film for, though the animated monkey was unnecessary. The story line has more holes and inconsistencies than even Godzilla managed. Even Star Trek manages to make it's time travel sequences self consistent and vaguely believable. Will, the youngest child was extremely irritating, remember the first few episodes of Star Trek Next Generation and Wesley Crusher? This was worse. Heather Graham, who played the eldest Robinson child Dr.Judy Robinson, can barely act, at least in Boogie Nights as Roller Girl she didn't have to, but here it looked badly contrived. Mimi Rogers and William Hurt as the parents were okay, and while Matt LeBlanc didn't play someone quite as thick as Joey, his Friends character, he did show that US Colonels are not actually very intelligent. Gary Oldman, cast as yet another bad guy, Dr.Smith, was a more intelligent baddy than he normally plays, and to a certain extent downplayed his role beautifully. You never quite disliked him, yet you never quite liked him either, which was probably extremely good acting on his part. The worst thing about this film though, was the fact that it ended with the possibility, even probability, of a sequel. Go see, enjoy for the special effects, and the humour, of which there was actually quite a lot, Matt LeBlanc actually quite good at the one liner, his best being when the Robinsons were settling down for the night having just crash landed on a planet, and were calling goodnight to each other rather like The Waltons, his comment was, "You cannot be serious" which had the whole cinema in stitches.
Dr.Doolittle cert.PG (5/10)
The best bits about this film were the animals, the various animatronics and computer graphics when melded with real animals made the whole thing incredibly clever. Aside from this, the various views of San Francisco, were the only real interest. Eddie Murphy was better in this than in some of his more recent movies, but overall this film was a one joke film: Eddie Murphy giving CPR to a rat! The sex/food mad guinea pig and the suicidal tiger threatening to jump from the Coit Tower were little more than side amusements. Much of it was a combination of farce and slapstick that the younger members of the audience enjoyed, but garnered little more than the occasional smile from everyone else. Children will definately enjoy it, even the very young ones, as all the animals were disgustingly cute, and the humour was definately aimed at them. If you don't have young children, it's certainly worth seeing, but only once it's shown on television. It's not even a widescreen film, so you won't lose anything.
Armageddon cert.12 (7½/10)
A better film then Deep Impact though basically the same story. In this one though, instead of over a year, there are only seventeen days, instead of a single ship and crew there are two, and instead of qualified astronaughts, they send up qualified, experienced, skilled etc. etc. drillers! Deep sea oil drillers! Plus a couple of astronoughts to pilot the ships obviously. Billy-Bob Thornton plays the senior Nasa man on the ground, whilst Bruce Willis plays Harry Stanton, the senior driller. In this film, the 'love story' for there has to be one of course, is between Liv Tyler as Grace, Harry's daughter, and A.J, one of the drillers. The Chrysler building seems to be a favourite target for the special effects boys, because in this film, as in Godzilla, that building got destroyed, though here of course by the smaller rocks that come hurtling down way ahead of the big one - the size of Texas instead of merely New York as in Deep Impact and which finally alerts people to the bigger comets presence. People have to die in this sort of film, and here it's one of the shuttles that crashes, though three of the crew escape, a couple from the shuttle that does land when there drilling machine gets blown into space plus of course Harry, who had to stay behind to detonate the bomb which for various reasons had had its trigger damaged. Particularly in the earlier part of the film there was quite a bit of humour, and in a few small respects, was a little more believable, and despite it's more action oriented plot, actually quite moving. Recommended.
The Avengers cert.12 (6/10)
Not brilliant, not bad, and not a turkey, despite what the so called professional pundits claimed. Sir August de Winter played with verve by Sean Connery has taken control of the worlds weather. John Steed (Ralph Fiennes) and Dr.Emma Peel (Uma Thurman) with some interesting help, have to track him down and release the world from his attempted domination. A very simple plot, without too many frills, much like the original series. There was a lot of humour in it as well, stuff that critics and americans won't understand because it's probably too British or too intelligent. It felt like an ordinary TV episode shown on the big screen, but I suspect that in part that was because it was not a wide screen film, and not much over a hour long. Worth seeing, but only if you are intelligent, i.e not a film critic.
The X Files cert.15 (7½/10)
Although this film ties up a number of threads from the television series, if you haven't seen any of them, you'll still enjoy the film, as it does stand on its own. Fox Mulder and Dana Sculley, two FBI agents, have been taken off the X-files cases and are now on more ordinary work. When they are accused of negligence over the deaths of three people when a building is destroyed by a bomb, Mulder starts digging a bit deeper. This naturally leads first him, and later Sculley, back into the type of work he was doing with the X-files. Some strange twists, and peculiar plot lines have them running all over Texas, before Sculley gets stung by a bee and falls unconsious. The plot gets even stranger then as Sculley appears to have been taken away so that her body can be used as some sort of incubator for some type of alien being. Mulder eventually tracks her down of course, but not before some very strange goings on deep in the Antarctic. Martin Landau is the doctor who tips Mulder off. If you're an X-files fan, you'll love this, but even if not, it is strangely enjoyable.
Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels cert.18 (8/10)
A black comedy gangster film set in the dingier parts of London. A convoluted plot that links a large number of people together by some fairly tenuous links, including a couple of chemistry graduates, a pornographer, a drugs dealer, a bar owner, a chef and a card sharp. Four lads start it off by getting bilked for half a million pounds which they have seven days to come up with. The father of one of them is a bar owner, played by Sting, who stands to lose his bar if his son can't come up with the money. The boys accidentally overhear the planning of a robbery, and decide to rob the robbers when they return. The first robbery goes a bit pear-shaped and a couple of people die unexpectedly, but the second goes perfectly. Things start going a little haywire from here on in as the original owners come tearing after the original robbers who in turn have just discovered that they have been robbed by their neighbours. Throw in a couple of scousers who have come down to do a bit of contract burglary, and some really heavy and unpleasant muscle men, including Vinnie Jones as a contract hardman, and you have an extremely funny film that just has to be seen to be believed. Very violent, though almost all the violence actually happens offscreen. The funniest part though has to be a young (late teens early twenties) girl blasting away with a bren gun! Reccomended
Species 2 cert.18 (6/10)
A Mars mission goes a bit wrong when two of the three astronaughts arrive back home after having been infected by alien DNA that just happens to be lying around on Mars. Although the first is stopped before she can go on to do too much damage, the second manages to cause some serious mayhem and murder. Natasha Henstridge reprises her role as the alien/human hybrid from the original film, but this time with some of her alien DNA disabled, and more of her humanness coming through. Despite the fact that Eve as she has been named is herself part alien, she is now the one who has to help track down the escaped astronaught without being allowed to come into direct contact with him. Naturally things don't quite work as planned, and in the end both Eve and her quarrie die, but not before leaving the film open to another sequel. A lot of inaccuracies such as the real time conversation between Mars and Earth, and a 280 day one way trip yet only an eleven month round trip. Not as good as the original, which itself wasn't brilliant, though just about watchable all the same.
Girls Night cert.15 (8/10)
Brenda Blethyn and Julie Walters in a story about two women working at a factory assembling electronic circuit boards. The closest of friends, indeed one even married the others brother, they share all their winnings from the Friday night bingo. When one of them wins the national, £100,000, they naturally want to celebrate, but before they can do so, she falls gravely ill. Set mostly in West Yorkshire, but with a small section in Las Vegas, Nevada, where they meet Kriss Kristopherson, this is a very funny, and yet very moving film. The dying women actually manages to hold onto her own dignity and strength, appearing to be braver, while knowing she's dying, much better than the people around her, her children, husband and friend. This is definately a must-see movie.
Lethal Weapon 4 cert.15 (6/10)
Too much like Lethal Weapon 3, but with enough differences to be okay on its own. Sargeants Riggs and Murtagh (Mel Gibson and Danny Glover) have been promoted to captains in the hope that it will keep them off the streets and out of trouble, but unfortunately trouble just seems to find them. When they bump, quite literally, into a ship full of chinese illegal immigrants the fun and games start all over again. With Rene Russo as Riggs pregnant girlfriend, and Chris Rock as the new cop on the up, and a reappearance by Joe Pesci, now a private eye. Some nice all action scenes and lots of destruction, and of course Gibson and Glover's unique brand of high speed bickering.
Saving Private Ryan cert.15 (8½/10)
When three Ryan brothers all die within a week of each other, two on the Normandy landings, one in the pacific, a small team of eight men, led by Captain Miller, Tom Hanks, are sent to find the fourth brother James Ryan, Matt Damon, lost somewhere behind enemy lines in Normandy. Not even certain if James Ryan is even alive, the eight men have to travel a long distance and overcome some pretty unpleasant obstacles. The start of the film, showing Millers Company coming ashore on Omaha beach right at the start of the offensive are extremely horrific and very realistic. There are no punches pulled anywhere in the film, as it graphically depicts the horrors of warefare. A well made and very thought provoking film.
There's something about Mary cert.15 (7½/10)
Cameron Diaz is Mary, the girl just about everyone falls in love with. Ted (Ben Stiller) once nearly went out with her, but an extremely painful incident, even for the audience, quashed that chance. Now, 13 years later he decides to track her down again, but uses the wrong person to do it, and nearly looses her again, after a bit of confusion, and some Laurel and Hardy style slapstick, everything appears to work out in the end. This is a mildly amusing comedy, but does occasionally get a little tedious. Diaz herself doesn't put a foot wrong, and while Stiller is okay most of the time, it is Matt Dillon who comes across as stilted and a little leaden, though he does manage to play his rather sleazy character reasonably well some of the time. It was funny, and Diaz is always worth watching, and while I mostly enjoyed it, even the excruciatingly agonising bits, in the end it actually wasn't as good as perhaps it should have been.
Small Soldiers cert.12 (6/10)
Toys with a mind of their own. Nothing really new there, and in fact none of this is really new, but the way it's been done is quite clever. Vaguely reminiscent of Toys from a few years ago, a small toy factory is taken over by a much bigger business which includes a military arms division. One of the toys they bring out is a range of soldiers led by Major Chip Hazard, and also a range of alien monster enemies led by Archer. Unfortunately the microprocessors used in the toys are not meant for this purpose, and the toy soldiers start causing mischief and mayhem, including kidnap. It was interesting to see that it was the soldiers who quickly became the bad guys, whilst the aliens were the good guys. Will appeal to children, but not a lot else. With the voice of Tommy Lee Jones as Major Chip Hazard, and the voice of Frank Langella as Archer.
Ronin cert.15 (7/10)
Ronin is a Japanese word used to describe Samurai who have lost their master. In this film, most of the protagonists are ex intelligence agents: CIA, MI5, KGB etc, who have been brought together to try and retrieve a case. Throughout the entire film, the contents of this case are never revealed, and apart from the fact that both the Irish and the Russians are after the case, there is never any explanation of why. The Irish contingent are probably the IRA or some similar group, but who the Russian group is is also never made clear. With Sean Bean, Jean Reno, Robert DeNiro, Jonathan Pryce and Natascha McElhone, and a brief appearance by Katerina Witt as a Russian ice skater. Some very clever stunts, in particular an absolutely amazing car chase sequence through Paris, but in the end thoroughly unsatisfying film which is a shame as it is such a well made and clever film.
Blade cert.18 (5/10)
Basically another film about vampires. Better than some I have seen, not as good as others, and manages to . Wesley Snipes is Blade, the arch enemy of the vampires, led by Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff), but also a half vampire, with most of their strengths, but without their main weakness of being unable to stand sunlight. Kris Kristopherson is Blade's helper and mentor. Not a little humour, and a rather grisly opening scene, but for the most part I found this film rather dull.
The Negotiator cert.15 (7/10)
Quite a clever film in many ways, though it did manage to get quite lame and disappointing towards the end. A top Chicago police hostage negotiator, Samual L. Jackson, is framed and accused of the murder of his partner. Whilst trying to prove his innocence, he almost accidentally takes a number of people hostage himself, and then demands to speak only to his opposite number from a different police department. Enter Kevin Spacey as Chris Sabian. In many ways this reminded me of some of the aspects of Die hard though only to a small extent. J.T.Walsh in his last role before his death in 1997 plays the man who Jackson believes, at least in part, to be responsible. A watchable film, and whilst not the best of it's type, a good one for all that.
Out Of Sight cert.15 (7½/10)
A highly amusing and intelligent film that manages to combine action, humour, romance, and even farce, in an intelligent and very watchable way. George Clooney is Jack Foley, who breaks out of prison straight into the waiting arms of federal marshal Karen Sisco played by Jennifer Lopez. The pair then end up spending a short while together in the boot of a car, where for some strange reason romance begins to blossom. Foley of course is already planning his next job, and by a bit of a coincidence it is Sisco who is on his trail. With Dennis Farina as Sisco's father, also a marshal, and Michael Keaton playing exactly the same role as he did in Jackie Brown which was written by the same author. Recommended.
© Dave Stratford 1998.